The first person immediate: creating an ideal voice for a young adult novel

It dawned on me as I was teaching my second year Writing Novels for Young People group.  I’ve noticed that a first person narrative works well for young adults, especially when it is in the present tense, even though in other contexts I argue that a third person close narrative  allows us to experience the growth with a character. The first person narrator has already had the growth.

Emotional closeness

The young adult is an emotional creature, full of mood swings, wavering self-esteem and having a brain that makes decisions in an illogical way. There must be a real closeness between reader and writer. The voice of a text comes through the gap between the reader and the writer. Most writers of young adult novels are middle-aged or older yet the narrators never sound that way. The writer has created the narrator as another character.

First person distant

There can be a problem with eye-witness accounts years after the event. They are no longer the people they were at the time the event happened. Memory may have failed but more importantly the narrator has had several years in which to rationalise what happened according to their own belief system, something that also evolves over time. Hence, The Diary of Anne Frank gives a more reliable account of certain aspects of the Holocaust than some present day survivors’ reports.

I first realised this in a critique group where in one story a maid was giving an account of her first day in a big house. This sophisticated account couldn’t possibly come from the little girl whose arms were too short to get the covers on the bed properly. A close third person would work better here than a “distant first person”.

The ideal young adult voice

This is of one young adult speaking to another, probably as best mates. They don’t realise they have grown until the end of the book. Their narration is an attempt to find some rationalisation within their own mind and possibly to gain some from the friend they address. Of course, that friend remains silent, but will be figuring out what is going on, possibly matching events with what s/he is experiencing in her / his own life. 

I’m quite convinced that Bella Swan did not know what was going to happen in New Moon when she told us about Twilight.  In fact, she probably did not know what was going to happen in the second chapter as she narrated the first. We do go on the journey with her and possibly follow her more closely than we would if the story was narrated in close third person.

Not easy

I’m on the second draft of a young adult novel and have decided to move from third person close past tense to first person past tense with just one chapter in the present tense. I’m finding it’s not just a matter of changing “she” to “I” and making the verbs agree.

For instance:

Gisela wiped the dust off the tiny window pane. The attic apartment was small but cosy. The sun streamed in and took away some of the gloom. She looked over at Trudi who was slumped, exhausted in the one comfortable chair. “Don’t worry. We’ll soon make it look like home.”

“I’ll give you a hand in a minute. Just let me get my breath back.”

Gisela shook her head and laughed. “You just sit there.” She waved her arms around the small sitting-room. “It won’t exactly take me hours.”

Trudi nodded towards the window. “Are there still a lot of people out there?”

becomes:           

I wiped the dust off the tiny window pane. The attic apartment was small but cosy. The sun streamed in and took away some of the gloom. I looked over at Trudi.  She worried me. She was slumped in the one comfortable chair. She was pale and her shoulders drooped. She closed her eyes.

“Don’t worry,” I whispered. “We’ll soon make it look like home.” I wondered whether we ever would, though. 

“I’ll give you a hand in a minute. Just let me get my breath back.”

I shook my head and forced a laugh. “You just sit there.” I waved my arms around the small sitting-room. “It won’t exactly take me hours.” I would only have to lean a little and I’d be able to touch the walls without moving from the spot.

She nodded towards the window. “Are there still a lot of people out there?”

The first person forces more inner monologue and in places (not shown here so much) creates different language – i.e. the words that the view point character would use. The third person close does this to some extent but it is enriched here I the “first person immediate”.

I probably haven’t got this quite right yet. I need to get away from the original a little more.  

A definition of the ‘first person immediate’

The story is told immediately after events have happened with no post event rationalisation. The reader can enjoy the growth with the protagonist. It may be difficult to prevent it sounding as if the narrator is walking around with notebook and pen in hand. It leaves the reader the opportunity to decide what is happening.