The "show don't tell" edit

We writers, especially those who teach, talk about showing instead of telling a lot. It’s one of the greatest signs of an inexperienced amateur – a great amount of telling. Sure, there has to be some exposition, but the less the better.
Of course, we also need to avoid the situation where we manipulate dialogue so that it becomes unnatural in our efforts to make one of our characters give the readers any background they need.
I’m reasonably good now at setting scenes into what feels like real time and space so I don’t have to do all that much usually in this particular edit. There are times, though, when I tell in order to propel the action forward. Sometimes this is because of laziness when I’ve not been bothered to write the actual scene. Other times, however, it’s because the detials are trivial and could bore the reader. This in turn sometimes means that scene wasn’t necessary. Other times though you do have to find another way of telling.
I find I get round the latter by telling the tale from the point of view of one of the main characters – the protagonist if possible. This generally works well.
It’s also important to refrain from naming emotions. It’s best to show the emotions by describing a character’s physical state and making him / her speak their mind.
“Telling” is characterised by long descriptions, often with several abstract words. “Showing” is generally full of dialogue and a considerable amount of action, giving the reader a real feeling of time and space.
I’ve now read the whole of Babel and found the weak points in this area. I’m now two thirds of the way through making the corrections.
Just three more edits to go.

The Constant Editor

I’m doing a considerable amount of editing at the moment – as part of my role as a university lecturer in creative writing, my own work naturally and in my role as editor with Bridge House Publishing. I’m also member of a couple of critique groups. So, I’m constantly playing with words. What a world to work in!
What do I notice when I edit?
One of the biggest problems is lack of tension in the plot. Often the resolution comes too easily. It’s a problem I find in my own work. How exactly do we get rid of the Deus ex Machina?
Telling instead of showing is also common, especially amongst less experienced writers.
Perhaps the third most common problem is shifting point of view. Yes, the omniscient author is coming back into fashion, but it has to be proactively that and not an assortment of misaligned mistakes. What is a little alarming about this category is that I see it also in published works, which have presumably gone through an editorial process. I’m not talking just self-published or small press either. I see it in works produced by the big boys.
An irritating problem amongst less experienced writing is incorrect formatting, especially in direct speech.
Then there is the odd miracle, the odd piece of writing which really grabs me and switches off that chuntering left-brained inner critic. I become absorbed in the story and the sheer brilliance of the writing. Bring them on!

Common Mistakes

I get to read a lot of scripts. There are my own, the ones I see as an editor, the ones my students have written and the ones I see in various critique groups to which I belong. You begin to see a pattern. There are, in fact, four major faults that people make, and if they could do away with these mistakes, their work would improve vastly.

First, and this is undoubtedly the one that needs to be put right first, is that a story or a non-fiction piece lacks structure. The resolution may be unconvincing and too quickly exposed because clues haven’t been left throughout the text. Often, the story takes too long to get going. Sometimes, there is a jump straight from opening to climax.

Then there is all that telling instead of showing. This probably comes from a need to get the story down. This is fine – but it should only happen in the first draft. Just so that you know, I actually do fourteen drafts of my novels. In each draft I check for one thing. I have one check which involves seeing whether I am telling instead of showing. To show, you need to write with the senses, have dialogue, inner thoughts of characters – but not too many, and actions, and certainly no moralising.

A third fault is shifting point of view. Omniscient author is currently unfashionable, unless you actually make him / her another character, but even when it was in vogue, good writers stuck with that point of view. It really does prevent reader engagement if one flits around from consciousness to consciousness. Slightly more skilled writers do attempt to stay with one point of view, but sometimes slip into a neutral stance, which makes the narrative distance clunky.

The fourth fault is poorly constructed dialogue. Dialogue should sound natural but not actually be too natural. It should always show character or move the plot forward. Many novices produce cliché-ridden dialogue. Sometimes, also, a slightly more experienced writer will produce very good dialogue but which takes us nowhere. The writer has enjoyed themselves. Whilst this is a good exercise for the writing muscles, that particular piece of dialogue may have no place in that text. This is possibly a darling which needs killing.

Get those four faults under control and you’re a step nearer being published.

Editing processes

Veiled or Behind the Veil or Beyond the Veil - or whatever I end up calling it, is almost finished. It's a YA novel. Just two more read throughs, probably in hard copy, and it will start going out into the wide world.
I have a list for editing, which goes from the general, to the precise. The first check is to see that the structure works, the last is a general copy edit. All sorts of things come in between: character, dialogue, showing not telling, pace, emotional closeness and then there are some genre-specific items. Like do the characters look like young adults in a YA novel?
I normally print out the first, the last and the last but one draft, unless I'm going on a train journey, and then it's hard copy to go with me, whichever editing stage I'm at.
I find it best to look for one thing at a time. However, I'll often notice something form a category other than the one I'm currently editing. I've got up a list of fourteen criteria now, and I'm thinking of cutting back a bit, or maybe doing a couple of things in one go.
Then the comes the problem of starting something new and sending this one out.