However, this isn’t always that easy. Jealousy isn’t always something we can
control. It’s an emotion that takes over. It chips away at us and can seriously
damage our well-being. Can we talk ourselves out of it?
I’m probably not alone in being jealous of J K Rowling. She’s
a great story-teller, obviously well-read and we all love Harry and co. And
darn it, her first adult novel has gone straight to the top of the bestseller charts.
But some of my stories are just as good, aren’t they? I’m well-read too and I
think my writing is quite good. I have another feeling towards J,K, though. I’m
extremely grateful to her for giving us another great example of good versus
evil, of getting so many people reading – including some previously reluctant males
- that more people are reading my works too.
It’s sometimes harder when it’s closer to home. My colleague
Antony Rowland recently won the Manchester Prize for his poetry. I lecture in creative
writing at the same HE institution where he teaches a little creative writing
and lots of other things. I immediately felt useless. Shouldn’t I and the others
in the creative writing team be achieving this sort of success? Hang on a
minute, though. I’m not a poet and I
didn’t enter the competition this year even though there’s a section on short
fiction. That spark of jealousy, fortunately, only lasted about five minutes.
The next emotion was of extreme pride. One of us has been noticed. I was also extremely
touched when Antony said in an interview with a newspaper that he was part of a
strong creative writing team.
Frank Cottrell Boyce recently won the Guardian Literary
prize. That’s where I’d like to be and maybe I won’t get there because – well,
Frank Cottrell Boyce – will I ever be that good? But wait a minute: he writes a
range of material for the same readership as I write for. So, my work counts. I’m
glad he was given this award. I’ve met him once and even shared the dubious of
pleasure of getting lost and arriving late at the same event with him. I will
be working with him in the not too distant future. So, someone in my circle of
influence is highly regarded … bring it on.
What about when someone in your critique group or another
writing friend gets published / represented where you’ve been looking? Or gets
a better book deal than the one you were offered? Or wins a competition that
you also entered? That can be harsh. You want to be glad for the friend but you
are so disappointed for yourself.
At this point I have to remind myself of what I often tell
my students. You can do it IF you really want to. It is of course an enormous “if”.
You will have to face rejection, feelings of inadequacy, possibly poverty, they
say 10,000 hours working on your craft and this occasional jealousy for which you
may well hate yourself for a while. You have to hold the vision. There is some
luck involved but you usually find when your scrutinize the more successful
work, that guess what, it is actually better then yours even if it is by only a
small margin.
This is where those fellow-writers who make us jealous for a
few moments can help us. They provide the
bench-marks. It’s the Manchester Prize, the Guardian Literary prize and a
decent book deal with representation by a decent agent that you set as your goals.
Our friend / colleague / writing buddy has done this, therefore it is possible
for us as well. We may have to try a little bit harder, though.
I always take much comfort in remembering Louisa May Alcott
who worked as a jobbing writer for twenty years, no doubt earning a meagre
living but being content in her work, and then wrote Little Women. Aren’t we glad that she did? She invested what she earned
from that in the railways and became quite rich. Possibly after 10,000 hours of
other writing?
We can’t help the feelings but can we turn them into something
that can work positively for us?
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